


Alice of Writer's Block

by Odense



Category: Vocaloid
Genre: Comedy, Crack, Gen, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-02
Updated: 2012-09-02
Packaged: 2017-11-13 10:23:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/502491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Odense/pseuds/Odense
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rin and Len wander about a strange new place, haunted by a strange dream. </p><p>...Don't let me even begin to decieve you. This is crack; I am not ashamed to admit it. Craaaaack.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alice of Writer's Block

At first glance, the Stillbridge apartment complex looked just the same as any other mass-produced housing development. But in reality, as any inhabitant would tell you, this was not the case. The children living there whispered to each other about the haunted basement room, wherefrom, sometimes, a girl’s furious howls and curses come. They said that the angry spirit in there is a murdered girl who once lived in the apartment, or that it was a were-wolf, locked in there by her human parents, or that the apartment had been built on a rift in reality, and that ghosts are always trying to get in through the closet next to the boiler room. They came up with innumerable explanations for the phenomena, each one more outrageous then the last.

They were all wrong, as one could easily tell from their ridiculousness, but few people ever dared to go and see what was really there. 

And then the Kagamine family moved in, with their twin children, Rin and Len, who would be the last ever to seek the cause of the ghostly sounds and stories.

***

The dozen other children or so who already lived at Stillwater were happy to meet two people new to their complex, and eagerly told them all about the haunted room; the younger children parroting their older siblings, who banded together to try and scare the twins. 

But their plan backfired. Far from being terrified, Rin and Len were merely intrigued. And so, one afternoon in late September, the twins bravely decided to find out what really was going on in that room. 

***

“Well, that is, Rin decided we were going to check it out, and so I got roped in,” Len explained to a neighbor, Miku, in the hall outside her family’s apartment on the fourth floor.

“She’d do that, wouldn’t she,” Miku agreed. “But seriously, just let it be. It’s totally creepy down there, not kidding. These two siblings who’ve gone off to college went down once; Meiko said she heard screams, and her brother Kaito heard something like a gunshot. But there was no way that anyone could’ve gotten in, and everyone was accounted for in the ‘partment. Total creepiness. I’m serious, it’s weird down there! Like, what if it’s a zombie - Rowr!” She mimed munching on his head.

As they laughed together, a little uneasily, Rin came charging down the hallway, shouting at her brother, “There you are! Come on, let’s do this! Oh, hi, Miku, ‘scuse me, gotta get Len here.” She grabbed her brother’s hand and began to pull him towards the stairs, “Bye, Mel! See you later!”

***

As Rin marched her brother down the stairs, she kept up a steady stream of ideas as to what they might find, but while she became more and more excited, Len grew less and less so. 

“And what they were saying about it maybe being a zombie sounds like so cool, I mean, how many people get to meet a zombie? Or maybe a Frankenstein’s monster thing. It’s so annoying when people call the monster Frankenstein, but really the doctor Frankenstein made the thing, and the monster didn’t have a name. Silly people. But the werewolf would be awesomer, and don’t worry, I brought some silver, see?” She waved something in Len’s face.

Len blinked incredulously. “Rin, is that seriously a spoon you brought? To fight a werewolf with?”

She shrugged. “Hey, at least I brought. What do you have?”

“I brought my running shoes. I trust them more than your spoon.”

***

At the bottom of the stairs, the twins looked around. Unlike the warm colours and large windows of the floors above ground, the basement was poorly-lit and very gloomy. There were no tiles or chic lights here; instead, the floor was cement, and the only light came from flickering, purely utilitarian installations in the sealing. A pipe whistled suddenly, and Len jumped, surprised.  
“Ah, heating pipes! Perfect!” Next to him, Rin set off, following the pipe into the flickering basement. “Come on, it’ll lead us to the boiler!”

With a shake of his head, Len followed his intrepid sister deeper into the maze of rattling pipes.

The deeper they went, the more convinced Len became that his sister was just trying to freak him out. She had started singing a creepy little tune, and the further they went, the louder she sang it. Finally, as they passed a scruffy little door, Len had enough. 

“Rin! Will you stop singing!” 

“Me stop? You stop it!” She turned on him, confused, and Len realized that the voice that really was singing it wasn’t coming from either of them, but the nondescript door next to them.

“Oh, sorry. This is it, then?” 

“Seems so.”

The door was unlocked. Len turned the handle, and Rin pushed it open.

***

Together they stepped into the little room. A single light bulb shone, uncovered, above a dusty card table. Equally dirty was the ancient laptop computer sitting at it. The keys were clacking away furiously, but no one could be seen sitting at it. 

Together they stepped around the table and looked at the screen, where a text document was being composed. Or rather, where a document was being composed, deleted, composed, deleted, over and over again. According to the scrollbar, there were a significant number of pages already typed, but whenever six or seven new lines were written, there was a pause, and then they were deleted with particularly harsh keystrokes.

Suddenly, the voice that had been singing snapped at them.

“What do you want here? I’m trying to write. OH hold it!”

The twins blinked at each other, and, with an uncomfortable look at the empty air in front of them, Rin hesitantly asked it,  
“Er. Hold what?”

“Shush! I got an idea!” The keys resumed their mad typing, until they came to a sharp standstill, accompanied by an irritated curse. The new text was erased. 

“Well, never mind. What do you want?” The voice sounded calmer now that it could focus on its visitors.

“What’s going on? Who are you?” The twins spoke together. 

A very washed-out image slowly appeared in front of them, of a very pale girl, her long white hair tied back loosely. She pushed a few strands behind her ear and said, “I’m writing, duh. My name is Alice, and I have writer’s block! I’ve been in this stupid room for like ages, trying to finish this English assignment!...Well, actually, the real Alice finished her project like ages ago, but she fell asleep in the middle of writing it, and I, her dream, got left behind. And I don’t know how the story ends, so I can’t finish it, so I’m stuck here! Oh, beeteedubs, sorry about the noises. If people forget about me, I’ll fade, and screaming and rattling are pretty standard ghost noises. So I just make ’em from time to time, when I’m particularly stuck.”

The twins were lost for words. No one had ever, in their wildest imaginings, had the idea that the monster in their basement was an irritated teenager. Wait. Actually, the similarities could be seen, and Len might have mentioned this when the shade, who had been staring pensively at them, started. 

“OH wait I have an idea!” Her fingers flew briefly, only to stop jarringly again. Another curse, this more virulent than the last, and the text disappeared. Again.

“Never mind,” Alice sighed. She looked so dejected that Len felt moved to try and help her. 

“What are you trying to write?”

“My English assignment. I’m trying to write something funny. It is not working. All plot bunnies have been caught,” she added sadly.

Apparently this meant something to her.

Suddenly, Rin burst out laughing. Alice whirled to her, eyes bright.

“Why are you laughing? What’s so funny? Tell!”

“Actually, this is! We upstairs think you might be a werewolf, but actually… you’re just a ghost… with writer’s block! Of all things!”

Len cringed in horror. “Rin,” he hissed “howsabout we don’t piss her off?”

But far from being offended, Alice was nodding, “Actually that might work. Shoo!”

She waved her hands at them, and the twins were gently pushed outside. The door slammed shut behind them, but through it, they could hear the keys banging away madly.

***

The ghost was never heard from again.

**Author's Note:**

> Actually, I wrote this back in 2010 for my comedy / humour unit final in english. My note to Mr. Eshelman read as follows:  
> Obviously, this stemmed from my having a severe case of writer’s block. I tried to write about aliens, MI5.5, chickens, and the army. None of them worked (I’m actually glad that the last one didn’t), but then I remembered the song my little sister and I are going to sing for Halloween, called “Hitobashira no Arisu;” “Alice of Human Sacrifice.” It tells the story of a little dream, and the lengths it will go to to not be forgotten. A combination of that story and the fact that Halloween is at the end of the month inspired me to try and spoof a creepy Halloween story by having something ridiculous at the end, instead of something awful.


End file.
